When I had to say goodbye to the PCP
March 27,2017 8:00am …
It was another early morning drive on the way to work, kids in tow and the soundtrack to Moana blasting and I finally made the peace with the decision to press send on that email that has been in my drafts. It had been about a few weeks and I had to make one of the toughest decisions in my young medical career. It wasn’t a decision I wanted to make lightly because the pros seemed just as big as the cons. Here I was almost 3 years out of residency and with an opportunity the size of texas but I still had some reservation on whether it was the right time or whether I was the right person to even be making the move.
March 27,2017 8:34am …
So I get to my office like any day but this isn’t just any normal day. I begin to pace back and forth in the office because I am about to tell my office manager the worst set of news on a monday morning that you could possibly want to hear. It wasn’t but a month or so ago that we were planning how to continue to promote the office and continue to effectively take care of the patients we were serving but here I was deciding when I was going to stop my pacing and just take a walk along the semicircle to her office. That day there was a few things I was sure of:
- I was sure scared as hell
- I was worried how my patients would cope with the news
- I was worried how my office staff would take the news
March 27,2017 8:42am …
I finally muster the courage to take those 20-30 steps around the corner & I have to greet not only my own office staff but the staff of the other physician in the office. So that made 4 people who I had to put on a happy face for until I could get to my final destination. As I get to the door my heart starts to race and my palms get all sweaty. All morning I had replayed the conversation in my head but here I was and just as nervous as If I was breaking the bad news to someone’s loved ones. And in this scenario that’s exactly what I was doing.
It’s over, the conservation went better than expected , the weight of the world had finally been lifted and the countdown to 90 had begun. Shortly after our discussion I finally sent the email that I had in my drafts for weeks to my employers. I waited the whole day for a reply that never came, which was totally out the norm for them because their turn around time was annoyingly fast but I am sure the decision blindsided them so it was no harm no foul to me.
Goodbye to the PCP …
The biggest fallout about my decision wasn’t that I was leaving that company but that I could no longer be Dr. Berry the Primary Care Doctor for many patients who had been with me since the office was practically empty. I remember a time where I would have 1-2 patients for the morning and afternoon so to see what my office schedule is amazing especially knowing that we did it without much help from the company. I can only hope & pray that the doctor who comes behind me takes care of them as I would have.
As I go into this new adventure I just hope to be as successful in leading this new generation of physicians as I was taking care of my patients over these past 2+ years. Also, I write this as a reminder that my first the dream of becoming the best outpatient physician isn’t really dead but on hold for now.
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