Bottom of the barrel

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After the spending last year atop the mountain as the senior resident the tables have again flipped as I start out a new chapter in my life as an attending. I've have spent the better part of the last two weeks getting acquainted with new colleagues in the practice as well as new EMR systems in both the hospital & outpatient clinics. The best thing about this go around is that the patients don't look as me as this student/resident when I get introduced so there isn't that awkward couple of minutes where they're deciding whether they won't to let me in the exam room as well. Being the new guy definitely has its perks because I am allowed to be a little "slow" in the beginning & ask as many questions I can as I am getting used to the outpatient setting. All the partners in the group are very nice & approachable & one even went to Columbia Hospital for his internship(and of course like almost everyone who goes thru Columbia he asked about Dr. Dinosaur). For now I am going to be juggling this new attending status, learning who are my new go specialist in the community while studying for my board exam in a few months.


And I'm out

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What seemed like an eternity has finally come to fruition..

By the time this post goes live online I should be walking out West Palm Hospital for the last time as an Internal Medicine Resident. It is fitting that on my last night as a resident just about everything thing bad that could happen just about did. For starters the sick bug hit my intern like a ton of bricks so I had to send her home before I could even get sign out, the nurses were bothering me all night for calls that I had been able to avoid the past two years with my senior status & of course one of the busier nights in the ER falls right on the night when I am trying my best to get out of here unscathed. All feelings of nostalgia went right out the window after my 8th admission for this place. It took less than 12 hrs to remind me of all the things I hated about residency so much so that I am drawing a blank on all the things I'll miss (besides the Dream Team). I'm just happy to know that when I walk out the door I'm leaving a better physician than when I first came in because that all I ever asked for.

I'm going to save all the praises due to people that helped get me through hell for the next blog.  



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By the time this goes live online, I will have about three days left of residency & with officially two more night shifts to go EVER. The light at the end of the tunnel has never been this bright. I remember starting this journey 3 years ago thinking it would never come & now things are moving so fast I barely have time to remember what happened. As the last of the seniors to finish I can't wait to hand in my pager, name badge & monthly paper work for the last time. I probably am going to leave my white coat there as well just solidify the transformation from resident to attending.


Who motivates the motivators?

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This was a discussion brought up to me recently by a colleague of mines, which I found extremely interesting. We both are very familiar with serving the role of primary motivator/mentor for people in our lives, so the question came down to who gets people like us motivated when we are down. I started asking several friends of mines who are in similar positions & was met with the same bewildered face as I had when it was asked to me.

Being in the position where people always come to you for help sometimes leaves you high&dry when you're the one looking for advice. People usually don't give you the benefit of the doubt that you need help & assume that since you're so good at giving advice that you should be able to help yourself and I also think on the flip side that those who do the motivating usually won't seek help for the same reason.  I can say that the latter was a problem of mines as I would try and internalize all my  issues & would almost go out my way not to seek timely advice. Once I realized how detrimental that way of thinking was I began to open up more which improved not only my well personal well-being but my position as a motivator improved as well.  In the field of medicine where most come in with Type A personalities & "no flaws", it is always gratifying to see that not only are there people who are willing to push you to do great things but that those same people sometimes look for you to push themselves. In short "Who motivates the motivators?", everyone as long as you're open to being motivated.


Keep Jotting Down

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Last night while trying to erase all some old files off my laptop I came across a vision statement I wrote to myself right before starting residency. I always make a habit of writing down my goals because in my mind once it's on a sheet of paper I am more obligated to do them [dont know why]. I'm just glad to see I'm still on the path.

" At the completion of my residency I hope to establish a practice in either Palm Beach or Broward County. I plan to serve the underserved and geriatric community. The plans for my practice include a 6-8-room office as well as a separate area where my patients would wait to get their labs drawn, or various other ancillary tests to ensure an efficient office appointment. I also have plans to bring in a cardiologist & gastroenterologist weekly so my patients would not have to travel to various locations for their health needs. My final professional goal is to work in academia in some fashion whether it is as a part time lecturer or full time professor with the potential to one day become a Program Director of a residency.
My personal goal is to continue to give back to the local & underserved communities as well as students including premed, medical students & residents. I really enjoy teaching & promoting the field of medicine & plan to remain a fixture in the schools giving presentations & speeches to encourage those that this is the career to choose. "